Time for a change? Time to leave? Another breakup?…
At some point, you realize that you can’t go on like this anymore. Either you stay, and the pain, disappointment, and a kind of unhealthy daily routine slowly consume you from within. Or you leave this “toxic” environment behind and try to build a new life.
Many people are afraid of change or of failing. And perhaps what is even worse: the fear of what others will think if they fail.
I have neither of those fears. I try. And if it doesn’t work out, then that’s just how it is. A new beginning. A new life. Even now, when I am already over 55. So what? I still have so much life ahead of me… And living an unhappy and frustrated life is not part of my plan.
Is it exhausting? Yes, very much so… Did I perhaps not really want it this way after all? Maybe… Would a “stable” life have been better? …Maybe…
So many attempts and so many failures… Is it worth it? Yes… It is… I think…
I often hear that most people regret the things they didn’t do at the end of their lives. That is not the case for me… On the contrary: Sometimes I wonder whether I will one day regret wanting to try everything.
Maybe I would have been happier if I had never wished for anything new? What if I had stayed in my home country and continued working as a lawyer there? Or should I not have chosen divorce and instead tried to save my marriage?
… Maybe it would have been better if I hadn’t resigned after almost ten years at the company. If I had stayed there until today. My colleagues, whom I liked so much, are all still there. By now, they often celebrate their 20-year anniversaries or similar milestones. They receive a gift basket and a certificate for their years of dedicated service. Everyone has a stable life. They are married, have bought a house, and are waiting for retirement.
Would I have been happier that way?
Instead, my life is starting over again now… Am I ready?… Am I strong enough?… I don’t know… This is simply where I am now… And what I do know is that I have to look ahead… That’s all…
This morning, there was a dead baby bird lying on the terrace. The parents had worked so hard, built the nest, and tirelessly fed their babies — and now one of the little sparrows is dead.
What do the bird parents do?
They chirp and are very distressed at first. Then they stop, and life simply goes on. They feed the other babies, flying back and forth with insects in their beaks or small pieces of dry grass. They keep going, and next year, if they are still alive, they will be back to start everything all over again.
Nature constantly shows me that the purpose of life may simply be life itself… and continuing to move forward. Storms come, and trees are sometimes damaged or destroyed, but they remain. Wild animals hunt and are hunted, and those that survive keep going. The river sometimes overflows its banks, causing a lot of destruction, and afterwards life simply continues — with or without damage.
That is life. Keep going. Look ahead.
No matter whether you turned right or left… whether others don’t accept you, whether you seem crazy or difficult to understand to friends, acquaintances, or family members… Everyone has their own life to live… Just keep looking ahead.
…and keep moving forward.
(*) Professionelle Hilfe: Meine Inhalte dienen Inspiration und allgemeinen Information. Wenn du jedoch das Gefühl hast, unter einer Depression oder einer anderen psychischen Belastung zu leiden, ist es sehr wichtig, dass du dir professionelle Hilfe suchst.
